Trials in mothering

I read several parenting books this summer. I found them all helpful, but especially this one: http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060923288 Instead of telling me how to raise a generic child, this enabled me to actually UNDERSTAND myself and my child, and parent him accordingly. I highly recommend it!

Sadly though, it's just really difficult to be a good parent. And it's tremendously challenging to be a good, gentle parent. It's not easy to love someone who hurts and angers you, and your child can do this in a way few others can. When I read the book I just recommended to you, it altered my parenting, and Sam's behavior improved dramatically! Until this week. This week, Sam discovered true temper tantrums. He's always had fits when he was overstimulated, but these are entirely different. In my panic, frustration, and exhaustion, I have been anything but gentle. I have been an angry, inconsistent, and harsh parent. My sinful responses to Sam have caused us both much grief.

Last night, I was at my breaking point. I called my mother in law, begging for advice. I'm so thankful for her gentle reminders. She raised 4 boys, and thus endured 4 years of "terrible two's"! She gave me a few ideas of things I could try. But most importantly, she reminded me (once again) that he is a little person. And as such, a sinner in need of grace, just like his mama. This conversation made me realize that when Sam's behavior is getting worse, he needs me to 1) show him lots of tenderness and grace wherever possible and 2) be faithful to punish him consistently for real wrongs. My mother in law also told me that I was a great mom. I didn't feel deserving of her praise, but I was a whole lot happier and more motivated this morning. And so far Sam is responding beautifully to these changes. I think her example of "gentle parenting" toward ME (constructive criticism accompanied by kind words of affirmation) really drove the point home. The human heart craves gentle parenting. It did mine a world of good! I'll keep striving to be this kind of parent for Sam...

some new pics

I don't have time to write a post, but I want to post a few pictures of Sam for Grandpa Ed, (Joe's grandfather) who is facing brain surgery next week and likely in need of some cheer. These were taken at Rehoboth Beach, where we went for a family day trip last week. I hope this sweet boys face makes you smile, Grandpa.

a quick hello

Stacy and Mark were coming through town, so they stopped by our house for the night. They arrived around 11pm, so of course we had to stay up until 3am talking and laughing together. Then we dragged ourselves out of bed at 9am, so that we could have breakfast at Plato's diner before they had to take off. We really enjoyed seeing them! And I was especially happy that I finally got a nice photo of Sam with his Aunt Stacy. =)

Comforting

Last night, I was quite discouraged about being a mother. I was weary of it's relentlessness...I was exhausted from the sleep deprivation (who would have thought this would go on for 2 yrs?)...In my minds eye, I was a failure as a mother because I forget to ask God for His help, because I often feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, because I'm so impatient with Sam...In that moment, every mom I know seemed like June Cleaver, except me. I knew my feelings were exaggerated, but I was still overwhelmed with sadness and frustration.

I woke up this morning to a beautiful spring day, which made me feel a little more hopeful. But still I struggled with feeling inept. And as I was checking my email, I glanced over at Sam and observed this little scene:

Sam had gone and picked up his baby doll (we got it some time ago, but he rarely plays with it) and began to feed it a bottle. I wish I had a video clip to show you how tender and nurturing this rough and tumble little guy was towards this doll! You can see in the first two photos how carefully he is positioning the baby in order to give him a bottle. As he was playing with the doll, he was asking if he was hungry and offering him a bottle, and referred to the baby as "Sam". I was encouraged by this scene because it made me realize, I have done some things well! I felt, for a moment, like I could see myself as Sam sees me. In the day to day, yes, I have moments of failure and weakness. But overall, I'm a mother who faithfully loves her son. More importantly, I realized that God is gracious in spite of my failures. Who Sam becomes can be affected by my parenting, but it does not depend on my parenting. I'm so glad that at the end of the day, God is the perfect parent that I cannot be. May both my strengths and my weaknesses teach Samuel seek his Father in heaven! And as for me, I will seek His help more often in raising this child. I NEED it!

Apartment therepy!

My friend Becky let me read her copy of the book "Apartment therepy". I got so excited that I jumped right in and rearranged/cleaned our main living area and our bedroom. The book helps you determine your sense of style, and then takes you through an 8 week (1 room per week) process to transform your apartment into a place you find comfortable, useful, and beautiful.

I'm enjoying both the process and the results. I'll keep you posted. =)

My favorite boy!

Who can resist this sweet face?!?!

Exploration, adventure and discovery...

feeling the water

Sam and Mama by the lake
Running with glee by Buddy Attick lake

Sam watching a Robin and saying "Hi Bird!"
The first blossoms of spring!
posed on a stump
"I fix it, tree"
Sam was trying SO hard to get that stick to connect to the tree!
Laughing at peekaboo (I was hiding behind a tree)
Handsome boy!